February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month!
Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month is a nationally recognized campaign to raise awareness and education on teen dating abuse. 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse by an intimate partner, and nearly half (43%) of college women report experiencing violent or abusive dating behaviors. February was declared National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month by Congress in 2010, and continues to be a month-long campaign focused on advocacy and prevention. (love is respect, 2021).
Warning signs of teen dating violence:
Every relationship is and looks different. It's sometimes hard to identify when behavior is becoming unhealthy or abusive. Here are some typical warning signs:
- Checking your phone, email, or social media accounts without your permission.
- Putting you down frequently, especially in front of others.
- Isolating you from friends or family (physically, financially, or emotionally).
- Extreme jealousy or insecurity.
- Explosive outbursts, temper, or mood swings.
- Any form of physical harm.
- Possessiveness or controlling behavior.
- Pressuring you or forcing you to have sex.
- (love is respect, 2021)
Tips on talking to your kids about healthy relationships:
- Start the conversation early. Starting the conversation before they begin dating gives your child the opportunity to learn about what a healthy romantic relationship looks like before they are in one. (Futures Without Violence, n.d.)
- Encourage open discussion. If they are old enough to ask the question, they are probably old enough to know the answer. Talk openly with teens, and encourage personal reflection on their values and ideas on dating. Instead of dismissing any of their ideas, encourage debate to challenge their thoughts and helps them gain a better understanding. (Futures Without Violence, 2015)
- Talk about self-respect. Everyone deserves respect within any form of relationship. Discussing what respect is and what you and your child’s personal expectations are for respect within a relationship can help them better identify any inappropriate or disrespectful behaviors. (Futures Without Violence, 2015).
- Talk about personal boundaries. It’s important for individuals to know what they’re boundaries are for a relationship before they are in one. Giving your teen the opportunity to reflect and identify their own personal boundaries is important, as well as talking about how to communicate them to a partner. (Futures Without Violence, 2015).
- Lastly, you’re going to make mistakes. We are all human, we make mistakes and sometimes say the wrong thing. It’s difficult to talk about heathy relationships and dating violence, and it’s okay for some awkward moments to happen. Be nice to yourself!
More tips on how to talk to your kids, here.
What we've done recently:
On and Off-Campus Services
The Campus Advocacy, Resources & Education (CARE) Advocate is co-located through Peace at Home Advocacy Center to offer services to the UCC community. The CARE Advocate provides confidential direct client services to survivors of family violence, sexual assault, stalking and human trafficking, as well as facilitates educational and awareness raising events, activities and workshops on campus. Anyone who works with the CARE Advocate will be kept confidential, meaning that any information disclosed will not be shared with UCC, law enforcement or elsewhere without written consent.
The CARE Advocate can assist students, staff and faculty with: safety planning with danger assessment, peer counseling, resource and referral, direct assistance, and more. These services can be accessed off campus at Peace at Home's office, or via phone and email.
Peace at Home offers: support groups, 24/7 crisis line, hospital response, emergency services, emergency shelter, transitional services, legal advocacy, sexual assault services, and more.
To contact the CARE Advocate directly, email her at one of the addresses below. For immediate services, call the Peace at Home crisis line at 541-673-7867, or stop by the Peace at Home office at 1202 SE Douglas Ave, Roseburg, OR 97470.
Erin Ritchie, B.S.
UCC Deskline: 541-440-7866
LaVerne Murphy Student Center
A Window Between Worlds Workshops - on campus
A Window Between Worlds workshops, which are art healing workshops that support participants in their healing process from trauma. These workshops are trauma-informed, hands-on art workshops that provide a safe place for participants to express themselves, tell their stories, self-regulate and more. Each session will have a different art activity, and participants can engage however they would like in the workshops. While in the past, these workshops have been tabling-style in lobby of the Student Center, they now will take place in regular Zoom meetings. Regular A Window Between Worlds workshops are available for students only. Staff and faculty may request a specific one for staff, or can participate in a one-on-one session.
Privacy statement for communicating with advocates via Zoom.
Winter Term Schedule:
Week 1 - Treasure Boxes Workshop: Handouts English Spanish. Extra resource here.
Week 2 - Brick Wall Workshop: No handout needed. Extra resource English/Spanish. Workshop scheduled for 1/13/2021 will be cancelled.
Week 3 - Creating a Safe Place Workshop: No handout needed.
Week 4 - Dreams & Goals Greeting Cards Workshop: No handout needed.
Week 5 - Affirmation Hearts: No handout needed.
Week 6 - I am strong because...: No handout needed. Extra resource here. This week will be facilitated by a different confidential Peace at Home advocate, not the CARE Advocate. Due to a different facilitator, the Zoom link will be different than other weeks. Please reach out if you'd like to schedule a 1 on 1 workshop with the CARE Advocate.
Week 7 - Growing Resilience: Handouts English.
Week 8 - Treasure Boxes Workshop: Handouts English Spanish. Extra resource here.
Week 9 - Embracing your future: No handout needed.
Week 10 - Take a Break, Self Regulate: Handout here. Extra resource here.
All handouts and extra resources are optional. All workshops can be done with a writing utensil and paper. If you would like a printed handout and/or colored pencils for free, please reach out to the CARE Advocate. Request Zoom links for workshops by email.
Reporting is not required to access services. Reporting to law enforcement or to UCC is the victim or survivor's choice to make; talking to an advocate prior to reporting can help make an informed decision on whether or not to report, and to whom. Please click the bars below to reveal information.
Students, staff or faculty at a college may want to report the violence they experienced to the school. Between Oregon law, and the federal rule Title IX, schools are required to respond to instances of sexual harassment, domestic violence, and stalking. All schools and campus’ who receive federal funds are required to have a Title IX Coordinator. Title IX is the federal rule that sex discrimination, including sexual harassment, is prohibited in educational settings as it infringes on the student’s ability to access education. The Title IX Coordinator on college campus’ is in charge of investigating Title IX violations. Although Title IX often focuses on student’s equal access to education, Title IX Coordinators respond to violence against staff and faculty members.
In this process, the Coordinator interviews all involved parties, and gathers facts and evidence, then move into adjudication. Adjudication is the point where they conclude if the respondent (the person who is accused of committing violence) is responsible or not. After adjudication, both parties are allowed to appeal the decision. Throughout any Title IX investigation, the Title IX Coordinator and school are required to provide support measures, including referring to an advocate, changing classes, and more, to make the one who made the report safer.
Starting the reporting process to Title IX changed nationwide. In this change, the Title IX definition of sexual harassment has changed, and some reports may no longer fall under Title IX. In this case, Oregon law still requires schools to respond to any instances of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking, and offer support services to the student or staff member who is reporting.
UCC Title IX webpage: https://www.umpqua.edu/title-ix
To talk more about campus reporting and other options, or for assistance in making a report to UCC, please reach out to the CARE Advocate.
Individuals who have experienced domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking or human trafficking, may want to call law enforcement. You can report to law enforcement anytime during or after an incident of violence, and police will respond either in person if the incident is happening currently, or by phone if the person calling is in a safe situation currently. Once notifying police of the abuse or violence, most of the time, it isthe victim’s choice topress charges. Pressing charges means that the police are going to begin an investigation and the court system will be alerted and become involved. In cases where the victim is under the age of 18, or some other instances, the court system may be able to press charges for the survivor, without it being the survivor’s choice.
The process of reporting to law enforcement includes the police collecting any relevant evidence, and interviewing involved parties. The case would then go to the District Attorney’s office, if they choose to go forward with it, the court process begins, which can include various hearings, and potentially a trial (it is uncommon for cases to get to this stage).
Regardless of where a survivor is in this process, they have the right to have an advocate present during interviews with police and court hearings. Advocates can help provide support during these situations, explain how the system and process works, and safety plan with the survivor.
If it is an emergency, and you need immediate police assistance, call 911. To report a crime, but it isn’t an emergency, individuals are encouraged to call the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office dispatch at (541) 440-4471.
For more information about the law enforcement and court systems, resources and referrals, reach out to the CARE Advocate or Peace at Home Advocacy Center.
Some individuals who have experienced violence or abuse may be interested in filing for a protective order (also called restraining orders). In Oregon, there are four main types of protective orders: Family Abuse Prevention Act (FAPA), Elderly Persons and Persons with Disabilities Abuse Prevention Act (EPPDAPA), Stalking Protective Order (SPO), and Sexual Assault Protective Order (SAPO). Each protective order varies inrequirements for qualification,what they look like once in place and how long they last.
In Douglas County, individuals can file for protective orders Monday-Friday at the Courthouse in Roseburg. There is assistance from Peace at Home advocates available each 7:30 am – 8:30 am in Room 201 in the courthouse. Paperwork has to be complete by 8:30 am to be heard the same day, starting at 9:00 am. Clients can have an advocate assist in filling out the forms ahead of time as well, but need to wait to sign it until at the courthouse.
Find each protective order application here.
For more information, assistance and resources, contact the CARE Advocate or Peace at Home Advocacy Center.
Individuals who have experienced sexual violence may want to have a Sexual Assault Forensic Exam (SAFE) done. This exam is done by a specially trained medical professional, and it is important it is completed within 120 hours of experiencing sexual violence. SAFE Kits can be used when reporting to law enforcement, or if unsure about reporting to the police, can be done anonymously. If a SAFE Kit is done anonymously, the kit will have a number attached to it and have no personally identifying information; an individual can choose to do a kit anonymously then report to law enforcement at a later time and the kit can be used.
Much of the time, medical professionals are not required to report a sexual assault to law enforcement. However, medical professionals’ responsibility with reporting can vary depending on a variety of factors. Medical professionals do have to report to law enforcement when the victim is under the age of 18, over the age of 65, or disabled. They also have to report if injuries that occurred during the assault that reach a certain level of severity, and if the assailant used a weapon. In Douglas County minors under the age of 14 most likely will have to get an exam done by Douglas C.A.R.E.S., not at the hospital.
Regardless if a victim decides to report or not, an advocate from a community agency should be notified by the hospital to respond. The advocate is confidential*, and is there to support the victim, and to provide options and resources in moving forward.
*confidentiality of the advocate may vary by agency, county and state. In Douglas County, the advocate responding will be from Peace at Home Advocacy Center and is confidential. An advocate who responds and is not confidential should disclose that when first meeting the victim.
For more information about SAFE exams, resources, and support, reach out to the CARE Advocate or the Peace at Home crisis line.
Interpersonal Violence Information
Please click the bars below to reveal information.
Domestic Violence is also called family violence, spousal abuse and intimate partner violence. All of these have the same definition which is: A pattern of purposeful behavior, including physical, sexual, psychological attacks and economic control, directed at achieving compliance from or control over an intimate partner. We experience this kind of violence, from an intimate partner, differently than if it were at the hands of a stranger. And intimate partner can be any one you have an emotionally intimate relationship with.
We experience violence differently in close relationships than we do with a stranger. Perpetrators of intimate partner violence are motivated by dynamics of power and control. Intimate partner violence is a learned behavior that is created by observing others. Violence is reinforced when society fails to act. The cycle of violence nearly always increases in frequency and severity as time goes on. Sometimes the cycle takes a long time to get through, in other relationships the cycle is repeated more than one time in a day.
Any touch or act that is sexual in content and is used for the gratification (not necessarily sexual gratification) of the perpetrator by force, threat of force, trickery, coercion, bribery or between 2 or more people where an imbalance exists in age, size, power or knowledge.
- Every minute a forcible rape occurs in the U.S.
- 1 in 6 women are vaginally raped at some point in their life
- 1 in 3 women are sexually assaulted during their life
- 1 in 7 male children are sexually abused before 18
- 1 in 3 female children are sexually abused before 18
- Married women have a 1 in 7 chance of being raped by a husband
- Marital rape is a crime in Oregon
Stalking is a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would put a reasonable person in fear. Stalking is usually a series of non-criminal behaviors that by themselves and to outsiders seem normal, but within the context of the pattern and to the person they are aimed at they cause fear. Generally speaking, most state laws require two incidents to be considered stalking.
Stalking tactics include many types of behaviors, including: incessant phone calls, text messages, changing phone numbers, sending gifts, following, monitoring, surveilling, and more.
If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking or something similar, please reach out to the CARE Advocate.
Why do victims stay?
We’re frequently asked why women stay in abusive relationships. We often respond with a question: Instead ask yourself why men are choosing to be abusive? Note: Not all men are abusive and not all abusers are men, but the majority of intimate partner violence happens to women by men (approximately 90%).
So why do victims choose to stay in an abusive relationship? The most frequent answer is the most simple and powerful: victims stay for love and the hope that the abuser will change. They also stay because of fear and for good reason: The most dangerous time in a violent relationship is when a victim is leaving.
There are many reasons why someone stays: fear, love, commitment, finances and religion are just a few. Sometimes, there just doesn’t seem to be a way out. It is important to remember that any relationship is difficult to leave – but a violent one has many extra layers of complexity and fear. Leaving is a process, and not a one-time event. As a society, we must support and empower victims in this process and hold the abuser accountable for the violence that he chooses to inflict.
Remember, real love isn’t violent. Nobody deserves to be abused.
Everyone deserves peace at home.
For more information about domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking and more, go to peaceathome.com
Local and National Resources and Hotlines
- Peace at Home Hotline
24/7 | 541-673-7867 or 800-464-6543 | peaceathome.com
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
24/7 | 1-800-799-7233 | thehotline.org
- National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline
24/7 | 800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
24/7 | 1-800-273-8255 | suicidepreventionlifeline.org
- Veterans Crisis Line
24/7 | 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1 | www.veteranscrisisline.net
- Trans Lifeline
24/7 | 877-565-8860 | www.translifeline.org
- LGBT National Youth Talkline (ages <26)
M-F 1-9pm PT, Sat 9am-2pm PT | 1-800-246-7743 | glbthotline.org
- Deaf Services through the National Domestic Violence Hotline
24/7 | 1-800-787-3224 | www.thehotline.org/help/deaf-services
- UCC Title IX Process | Kelley Plueard | 541-440-7690 | www.umpqua.edu/title-ix
- Douglas County Veterans Service Office | (541)440-4219 | www.co.douglas.or.us/veterans
- Roseburg Dream Center (food pantry/warming center) | 541-673-5918 | roseburgdreamcenter.org
- Fish Food Pantry | 541-672-5242 | www.fishofroseburg.org
For more resources and referrals, please reach out to the CARE Advocate or the Peace at Home Crisis Line.